Quotes

Episode I

• "He needs to run like a Bilbo played by Vin Diesel." — Andrés
• "Bah, technology!" — Andrés
• "Your characters and their history of dealing with women…we're all in trouble." "Thanks for the vote of confidence." — Andrés & Alex
• "You know that pile of rust inthe corner? It's a robot placenta." — Andrés
• "It's also cheaper." — Lando, on cooking for a woman as a means of seduction instead of going to a restaurant
• "...like if you're interested in a long-term relationship." "Sure, Jabba's dead. It could work out." — The GM & Lando
• "So you're taking her home to make an 'intrusion roll', eh?" — Andrés
• "Jabba wishes to inform all other prospective interviewees that trying Jabba's patience will result in an interview with the Rancor monster." — Bibb Fortuna
• "You'll be made to walk the Han." — Neel
• "It's a job fair for evil." — Neel
• "That's the problem with the Empire. They don't let this sort of thing go on. You have to get out the city to do it." — Bela, on deathfighting pit slaves
• "So she takes thirteen points of indecision damage from you kissing her." — Neel
• "Okay, you're faster than a giant slug, so you get another action." — Neel
• "Jabba is shouting for 'More mooks! More mooks!'" — Neel
• "We're alive!" "Of course! Did you think I didn't have a plan?" — Max Reebo & "Sy Snootles"

Episode II

• "Pass me a die, I need to roll initiative for the Star Destroyer." "You just like saying things like that". — Neel & Theresa
• "I knew I should have gotten the expensive parts." "Han! What did you do to my ship!" — Han & Lando
• "We are Rebels, after all." — Lando
• "I trust the players to remember bonuses, at least." — Neel
• "Vast fleet of star destroyers, hordes of stormtroopers, imperial authority—what's not to like?" — Theresa
• "When an Imperial says, 'Bend over!', you say, 'How far?'!" — Bela Nix
• "You're stealing all my lines." "That's sort of Lando's job." — Theresa & Andrés
• "That's right, you are my friends—well, you're not." — Luke, with the latter half addressed to Lando
• "Power, not necessarily responsibility." — Luke
• "That would be really embarrassing, if you go to all the trouble of not killing someone and they die." — Luke
• "Nothing can possibly go wrong." "I'm so glad he said that and not us." — Luke & Theresa
• "You pre-cancerous nerf-herder!" — The Stormtrooper Lando pulled down into the mines of Kessel
• "You're using a blaster, that I got for you—don't I deserve some respect? Don't I?" "Merrt met miu?" — Lando & Artoo

Episode III

• "Yeah but you like anything with Angst in it." — Theresa, to Neel
• "I believe it is traditional to roll initiative at this point." — Neel
• "What else can you do with a secret base besides blow it up?" — Neel
• "When someone is blinded and in troubled, that's the best person to attack." — Neel
• "Their numbers are cut in half!" — Leia
• "Burninated." — Andés
• "Crap, is everyone here a Jedi?" — Warden
• "'Its only one man!' as they pull their blasters" — Evil Mooks, in regard to Mace Windu
• "I'm not scruffy looking, just slightly dusty." — Han
• "This is not the hole you are looking for." — Leia
• "You land right in front of him; he doesn't notice and just changes direction and keep running" — Neel
• "You find the Millenium Falcon. It's classified as 'garbage scow'." — Neel
• "I like to save Fortune Dice for things that will save my life." — Han
• "Ah, he fell for the old Blaster-In-The-Groin trick." — Leia
• "Right, you're going in the pit, too." — Mace
• "I never thought I would be smuggling garbage in here." — Leia
• "It's full of garbage." "Right, your ship." "This reminds me of that time on the deathstar." — 3P0, Lando, & Leia
• "You wouldn't want to damage the fragile poisonous ecosystem." — Theresa
• "Artoo! Lubricant!" — Leia
• "Its a pocket death star." — Leia
• "Psychoactive, being an active psycho, what's the difference?" — Andrés

Episode IV

• "True names have been excruciated, and we're all mooks." — Andrés
• "Look at our ancient, dated graphics, which are far cooler than whatever shit they will come up with in the prequels." — Andrés
• "Like fog, but evil." — Neel
• "Violating causality is fun." — Andrés
• "No, it's a Death Cube, which is better than a Death Star. For the same width, you get more Death." — Andrés
• "Alert! Unauthorized intruders in the base!" "Shit! I wonder where they are?" — An Alarm & Han
• "Haha! The one we're fighting is called Thug. It'll be easy to kill." — Theresa
• "I think for a robot being stabbed with a power converter is roughly equivalent to being doused in gasoline and set on fire." — Neel
• "The trick, really, is just holding down the trigger." — Han, on shooting techniques
• "If I shoot it, will it explode?" — Lando, asking the universal question
• "I had moral qualms." "They weren't paying you enough." "That's a moral qualm!" — Han & Leia
• "How is the new Death Star? Are you in orbit around Degobah yet?" — Luke
• "Fucked I am." — Yoda
• "This is what happens when you don't let a wookiee work on your ship." — Lando
• "Holy shit! He's my brother! Ewww!" — Leia
• "We killed the most hobbit-like of the Jedi already." — Nick

Episode V

• "The stableboy? He's probably the son of Zeus, too. That would explain the family resemblance." — Andrés
• "Speaking of Cthuloid gods, back to Luke." — Neel
• "So this is where they blew the set design budget." "Sure wasn't on Kessel. 'Oh, we can't do outside shots, because the atmosphere's poisonous.'" — Andrés & Theresa
• "Are there telescoping bridges?" "Of course! But the controls are on the other side." — Nick & Neel
• "But I have a Deceit ability now!" — Han
• "So, Chewie is trying to take his bowcaster and shoot the AT-AT in the crotch. How do you stop that?" — Neel
• "Technically, no, but hell! It's the last session; go for it." — Neel
• "Looks like you may have to break out that ghost template sooner than planned." — Neel
• "I just showed an impressive display of Leadership, and as we all know, Leadership means not changing your mind no matter what facts are presented." — Leia
• "He hasn't had time to spend all the experience points from taking over the galaxy." — Neel
• "There's a blast door, but there aren't blast walls." — Andrés
• "You're being chased by an angry wookiee. What do you do?" "I run away in a very pathos-laden manner." — Neel & Theresa
• "You wanna roll for the Star Destroyer? Odds or evens?" "Evens. Noooo!!!" "Now for the Falcon." "Evens. NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" — Han & a very depressed Lando